booty shorts and dresses

If there was one word that I had to use to describe me, it would be indecisive. It's true. I can never pick anything. Even when I do pick something it takes me forever! At a restaurant I will study the menu for an hour before I decide what I want to eat. Then after I order, I realize I wanted the other thing I was thinking about getting. The hubs says, "Don't live a life of regret." I feel bad for the hubs. He has to sit there and wait and wait and wait for me to decide what I am going to pick. So I try to hurry up and pick it quickly. But then I feel pressure and of course if I feel pressured to do anything I tense up and it takes me even longer to decide. It's really quite a dilemma , especially when taking a timed quiz. O. My. yes. it is not good to be indecisive when taking a timed quiz.

Because of that very reason I am very proud of what I was able to do the other day: decide. And stick with it. Before dinner on Saturday night, we had to wait for 45 minutes before we could sit down. We waited, pretty much because we didn't know where any other restaurants were in town and we both really wanted some cheesecake. Thankfully, the restaurant was in (near) a Macy's. So the hubs and I rode the escalators down, down, down, and walked around all of Macy's while we waited. Actually, I walked all over, he sat in a comfy little leather arm chair and made some phone calls. On one floor there were dresses. I had never seen so many dresses in one store in my life. Naturally, since I am a such a pessimistic person, I see the pretty dresses (at Macy's) and think, "Sure they're pretty... but they're also all over priced..." on and on it continues in a generally negative demeanor. But then, I saw it. The sign. "Sale" and it had a list of what was on sale and how much and such. Well, since the dresses were on sale, and I had 45 minutes to kill, I looked around. Touching that dress, admiring this dress, sometimes thinking, "that's a dress? That doesn't cover anything!" and on and on like that.

The hubs said I could get something if I wanted to, and of course I saw lots of pretty dresses. but I didn't get one. Because I'm just indecisive and 45 minutes is hardly enough time to pick up a dress, examine it closely, try it on, walk around with it on your arm for an hour, and then decide you don't need it and put it back on the rack where you found it. I mean, you need at least an hour and a half to decide you don't need (or the rare occasion you do need) a certain item ...shirt, skirt, pants, dress... and return it to its shelf or rack (or if you do get it... return to the rack or shelf 20 minutes later to pick it back up). I only had a messily 45 minutes to do something that normally takes at least 90 minutes. Not enough time. So... I walked around, admiring, touching, wishing, I could have a pretty dress like one of these.

This is also a rare situation because never have I ever seen so many dresses in one place. Never have I ever see so many pretty dresses that I would actually consider wearing. A lot of the dresses in the shop were longer than what I normally see, as in they were actually longer and would cover the butt-tox. Most dresses I see now a days don't even cover that much. It's really quite a shame. Even shorts for that matter don't cover the whole bum. You would think a girl would want to get her money's worth. Did you know most of the booty shorts (the shorts that don't cover the booty, with the pockets that you can see because they are longer than the actual shorts being worn (Good. Gravy) cost about $58. If you are going to spend $90 on a a tiny little piece of fabric, why not either a. spend it on something with more fabric that actually covers up the booty or 2. get some bigger underpants so that at least the bum bum will be covered up one way or another. I mean really. booty shorts? They don't even look like shorts but more like ... underpants really. shheesh. when will they learn?

I'm not the only one who thinks this way either. I know there are lots and lots of people who would agree with me. In fact, as I was waiting for the hubs the other night, I was standing against a wall and three young girls (because I am after all, sooooo old!!!) walked past. They were all wearing tight little booty dresses that only covered half of their tiny little booties. I can only imagine that when they sat down the dresses hardly covered anything at all. Three boys were walking right behind them... o. my. There was a lady standing next to me. I watched her watch these girls and look over their tiny little tight black booty dresses. She turned to me, smiled a weary smile, rolled her eyes, and shook her a little.

booty shorts. booty dresses. It's one thing when a tiny little hiny is bursting from these booty clothes. But, they make these booty clothes in all sizes... and when you see someone that thinks they can pull it off and look like the tiny hiny... well, it's just down right sad. No one should be wearing those things, but then some girls get it in their tiny little bubble heads... and that's the end of that.

O. Yes. the dresses.The shop had a surprising amount of "long" ones. At least to the knee. Not too shabby. But like I said, I only looked. Because it is far too much trouble to actually pick one out and get it. I mean, it's just a frustrating process really. You find something you really like, a lot. You pick it up, walk around with it for three hours, and then by the end of that time, you think, "I won't get it..." and put it away. This is sad because you had already spent a whole two hours standing, holding this thing in your hand thinking, "Should I get it? Yes. I need it. I would use it. I haven't gotten anything in a long time. Ya, I can afford it. I'll get it. Definitely." Then you take two steps and think, "Well, I guess I don't really need it. Even though I do like it. And I would use it. But that's ok. I've lived without it, I can keep on living without it." So you take two steps to put it back, but then you think again.... and pretty much this continues as such for the remaining two hours and by the end of it you are just so pooped and irritated with yourself that you can't make up your mind and that you've just wasted two whole hours of your life, that you just put it away and storm out of the shop. whew. Exhausting. really.

So we ate dinner. Went home. The next morning we went back that same way for breakfast. After breakfast the hubs told me to go look for a dress. He told me to pick one out to keep. (buy and then keep I should say). So I did. I went down the steps, found one dress, tried it on. And put it back. Thankfully I managed to find a hundred other dresses to take in and try on. So I did. And I found one. ...in 15 minutes. and got it. to keep. o. goodness. That must be a record. I still can't believe I found a dress, liked it, tried it on and had it fit just right, walked out with it happy and knowing this was the one. I showed the hubs my new red dress. He liked it too. Even better.

That's a lie. Not about me not liking it or finding a pretty little red dress... but about it being a record for finding a dress I really truly loved. On one other occasion I had done the same thing. I went to try on wedding dresses, I saw one I thought looked pretty on the hanger. I tried it on first, walked out of the little fitting room, and I was in love. I knew this was the dress I loved and it was the one I was going to get. And I did. ...I did try on other dresses, who wouldn't? You can only try on wedding dresses once in your life, might as well make the most of it, right? So I did. and it was loverly. But I went back to the pretty white dress I had tried on first. It only took me 15 minutes to find that dress, try it on, and fall madly in love with it, why shouldn't I be able to do it again? After years and and years I was finally able to do that with a dress that I could actually get away with wearing more than once. I am so happy I found a not booty dress for a not high price... and I even got a visitors discount on top of it. What a day. What a quarter of an hour.