Friday, October 29, 2010

they took it

The Fix it men came and took our stove away. It's true. They did. After they tried to fix it they decided that it was dead and that it needed to be taken away. For good. So they pulled it out of it's comfy little corner in the kitchen and totted it out of the apartment.

Now I have no stove and no oven. Perfect. That's really going to take some ingenuity. Cold meals. nice. My favorite. Well, actually, I could probably manage, but the hubs likes to have meat every now and then and I heard it's pretty important to cook the meat before you eat it. So, that would be tricky to do without a stove top or oven, right? Right. It would be. Very difficult. I suppose there is the precooked stuff you can buy, that that's really expensive and I just don't want spend my money on that. ...not that we would have much of a choice. I suppose I should be thankful for grocery stores with ready cooked meat. What a fun two month adventure this will be.

I hope they know they are killing me. I mean, my life is baking. That's what I do. I can't help it. So for them to take away my oven ... well, they should just kill me over dead. That's what. I suppose that could just mean that we have to eat really fresh foods. Lots of fruits, veggies, and precooked stuff. Like what they have at restaurants and such.

Thankfully Jesus knows that I would really probably die of not being able to cook let alone bake anything that ten minutes later the Fix it men came back with another over with a different stove and said it was mine to keep. for two weeks. Then I really will get a new one all of my own. Isn't that just the best?

Now the challenge is what do I fix for dinner when I have a very limited supply of food stuffs: spices, baking dishes, pots, and other such stuff. Ideas? they would be most welcome.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

no food for you

I wanted to eat some lunch yesterday. That was my goal as I walked into the kitchen to get some food to eat. You know, I was hungry, and I had some left overs, I thought it would be nice to be able to eat them. Leftovers, yummy leftovers. So, I pulled them out of the fridge and plopped them down on the one and only cookie sheet we have. I mean, a plate in the microwave would have worked just fine and all ... if we had a microwave. like we were supposed to. but we don't have one, like we were supposed to. So I didn't put them on a plate and pop it in the microwave for a minute. nope. I went over to the oven and turned the knob to start it up. Nothing happened. No noise. No heat. No light. No nothing. I'm pretty sure that when you turn the knob the oven is supposed to come on. Right? yes. But it didn't. Nothing happened. I turned it off and tried again. Same thing. nothing happened. shame really.

Thankfully I am a little bit resourceful and decided I could eat something else instead. Except, we really didn't have very much else to eat. Cereal? I could, but that's all I'd eaten for the past three days straight. I really wasn't feeling it. again. I had a bag of pecans, but I really wanted something more. I opened the fridge and saw the yummy yummy leftovers. Sadly they would taste really terrible if I ate them cold. Thankfully we thought to get eggs at the store (one of ten items we bought). Thankfully I like to eat eggs. Sadly there was no salt or any other yummy fixings. Thankfully we also had some cheese. Sadly the cheese tasted like chalk.

I told the office people our oven was broken. They were nice enough to send someone over to fix it. The fix it man was nice, and he fixed it. Except not really. Because later that night when I went to start the oven ... it didn't start. It did make noise this time. It even clicked. And there was a tiny little red light. It also filled the apartment with a not so wonderful gas smell. Thankfully I was sensible enough to know to turn the oven off. I did not want to be the reason the entire building exploded. No.

The hubs called Mr. Fix it and after a few hours he came over with Fix it man number 2. They tried starting the oven. But it didn't work for them either. see, it wasn't just me being incompetent. After fooling with it for another five hours they decided that it didn't work and they didn't have the pieces they needed to fix it. super. Mr. Fix it said, "We'll order the pieces in the morning and they should get here the next day and then we can come and fix your oven the next day." I guess it was really all he could do. And since he was nice about it and all I let it slide. After telling the hubs that leftovers were out of the question he decided we should order a pizza.

Unfortunately it took two hours to order the pizza and another three to pick it up. Thankfully we were able to eat some dinner, sadly it was way past our bed time when we eventually ate. But hey, I can't complain. The pizza was yummy and we ate it and weren't hungry any more. Unfortunately the oven is still in disrepair. sad.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

new adventure

It's time for a new adventure. It is true. We are on another one. We left the other day to start our adventure. And now it's really beginning. Not that it did start until today. It started a few days ago. Pretty much the start of it was like the other adventure we went on. Packing. That's what we did. And laundry. All day. loverly. I like to think that I did a better job packing for this trip, but that could also just be me trying to reassure me that I did, a better job that is. Although I am very happy to say that I packed significantly less then the hubs did. This much is true. :D I jammed all of my precious clothes and soaps into my one polka dot suitcase and sat back and smiled as I was once again reminded of a can of sardines. And as it fell over because apparently it was too fat to stand up straight. oh well. it's all in there. I also was a little bit sad. I mean, I was packing a lot of clothes, I felt like I could have packed less, but I didn't. O well. It will work. An other reasons too, but I won't start on those right now.

The drive up here was really actually incredibly Beautiful. The trees were changing and there were bright reds and yellows and oranges and golds. O, it was a beautiful sight. Hillsides covered in delicious bright fall colors. gorgeous. The grass was green and so so pretty! What a beautiful day.

The end of this trip meant that we were here. Or there. Which ever you way you look at it. But, still. We were somewhere. The outside of the building looked really nice, pretty, clean, and neat. I was actually a little bit impressed. It's true. After talking with the lady that gave us our keys and such we walked over to our new home. That's when it happened. The sketchy part of it. The door was ... old. not too nice. When we walked in we were greeted by a nosefull stench of mildew, old, mothballs, stale, recycled, and dirty air smell. I'm sure my lungs appreciate that little gift. not. Then we come to another door. Another old door. With an old door knob. Is this even safe. [I forgot to mention that we had to sign our lives away on a little piece of paper saying we were fine with the fact that there might be Lead paint in the apartment. wonderful. not. so obviously this is Not safe.]

Welcome home temporary home. I mean, it's nice enough. If you think that an old scary dark apartment is nice. Mostly dark. Very dark. But hey, that's what the lamp if for right? After lugging our bags inside, we tried to turn on the air. Bad idea. it was broken. Meaning, it blew out HOT air. No thank you. nope. not now. It was 90 degrees inside, the fact that hot air was blowing out of the air was not so happy. wonderful. I couldn't ask for a better start or welcome.

Also, they decided as a welcome gift they would turn off the water. I mean, it worked the first day. And when I say worked I mean, water would come out of the faucet. It would start out warm, then go to cold. After that it would be Scalding. I mean, really. I couldn't even wash my hair without the water changing from warm to freezing to scalding ten times. wonderful. I have a feeling I may be fasting from showers for the next few weeks. kehehe. seriously. Then came the gift of them turning off the water completely. Really? That's just not right. ... but hey... go ahead, it's not like I need water or anything.

But you know, other than that it's all good. I am spending my days in a dark hot waterless cave. joy.

Friday, October 22, 2010

a little bit of this and that...

Two things:

1. Today I was a calculus teacher. All I did was sit back and listen to the students explain how to do the problems. It was really pretty wonderful. I mean, what do they even need a teacher for? They seemed to know it all.

I was also an Advanced Algebra teacher. It's true. I felt smart. But not really. All I did was call their names out and hand out a work sheet. You know what one of my favorite things about subbing is? It's when the teacher leaves a seating chart. You see, when the teacher leaves a seating chart I know where they are supposed to sit. But they don't know that. And they think they can sit where ever they like. Well... they can't! haha. Because as I take roll I look at the seating chart to make sure they are there and when I see they are not in their seat, I look at them and say, "That's not where you sit." Then they get this incredulous look on their little face and say, "uh. ya it is." For some reason they always like to disagree with me. I don't like that part about subbing.

So I say, "No, it's not. You need to move to your seat."

"Really? I have to sit there? You won't be nice and let me sit here? Just for today? I'll be good. I promise." Although I know that they won't and they will probably be more trouble (which is why there is a seating chart). Why can't they just say, "yes, ok. I will move."? ...well, I guess some of them do. After I tell them they need to move, they look at me like I have magical powers because I know that's not their seat, and then they shrug their shoulders pick up their books and reluctantly shuffle over to their seat. What I like comes next... after the one kid gets called out for not sitting in their seat, everyone else in the room moves to their seat because they don't want to get called out. Which is good I guess. It amuses me to watch them think they can get away with something and then realize they can't. o yes. The one and only joy of subbing. maybe. probably. or not. I'm sure there's another.

so yes. there's that.

Then there's this...

2. I was at the grocery store the other day and a few interesting things happened. The first was this: I over heard a mom run into someone she knew and apparently hadn't seen in a while. I know this because she introduced her husband, Bob and then her son, Starfish, to the person. His name was Starfish. I'm not even kidding you. Starfish. poor kid. That's what the mother named him. I mean, that's just not right. I don't mean to offend you if your name is Starfish or if you happened to name you child Starfish. But I just can't but help be amazed that someone would actually give their child that name. I mean, a name is something they have to live with for the rest of their life. ya know? I know that, but apparently they didn't get that memo. that's why you do not name them Starfish or Jellyfish or Tuna or Casserole. ya know? seriously....

Also, when I was at the store, in the check out line I looked over and saw the lady in line next to me. She had a cart full of soda. pop. coke. soft drinks. soda pop. whatever you call it, that's what was in her cart. She had Coke, Sprite, Pepsi, Mt. Dew, Diet drinks of everything. There were 2 liters, and 24 packs... I didn't think it was even possible to buy that many of something at once. Maybe she had some really great coupons or something, who knows. But it was crazy. Really. I mean, she had enough to last 10 years. Or not. Because if she bought that much of it then she probably drinks it like it's her job. holy cow. I would not want to be her dentist. That's all I'm sayin'.

anyway. that's what I saw (heard). so yup. that's about it. for now. I'll probably cook something up later on so. yup. then there will be that. but for now, it's just this. yup. ok.

Friday, October 15, 2010

the post line

Today I went to the post office. Finally. I was supposed to go about a month ago, and even though it is only ten steps away from our front door, it still took me forever to get over there. O my. That is really quite pathetic. Really. I think part of the reason is maybe because I've just been being so lazy lately that I want to do nothing but stay home. eh. well. I went today. finally.

I had to mail a few parcels. On my way to the post office I stopped to pick something up that I was going to mail. And get an envelope. Well, the shop I went to didn't have the envelope I wanted, so I didn't get one. And I left. Thankfully I remember the other reason I was at the store. At the post office I was greeted by a super long line. won-der-ful. Now, I know sometimes the post office will have a super long line (like 20 people) or there will only be 3 people and that's really busy (to some of us). Most of the time when I go to my post office it is not busy. That means, there are rarely more than three other people there when I am. However, I have not been to the post office on a Friday afternoon. No. And here is my mental note to myself: "Do not go to the post office on a Friday afternoon. Just don't." I say that because... there were about 50 people in line. holy cow! It was pretty ridiculous. So, I cut the line. To get an envelope. After addressing my envelope I walked past 58 people and took my spot in line. When I was about three people from the counter and it being my turn, I realized something. I didn't fill out the customs forms. well, shoot. I debated getting out of line to grab two of them, but for some reason I decided that I didn't want to lose my spot and have to go to the back of the line, again, and wait for 69 people to go in front of me. No. I was not. So I didn't.

When it was my turn I walked up to the counter and said, "um, ya, about those customs forms... I just didn't want to loose my spot in line. Sorry." I think the post man was a little bit annoyed with me for not having them already filled out, but eh, oh well. What can ya do? So, I stood at the counter and filled out my customs forms. sheesh. I felt really terrible too. The other post lady at the next counter helped three people before I was finished. I really did feel bad, but not bad enough to get out of line and wait another hour and a half for it to be my turn. No. I was going to make the other people wait. Maybe that's a bad thing. I don't know. But, it's what I did. so, eh. O well. take that, people waiting in line... and sorry post man. I do still kind of feel a little bit bad. But not really. just a little. but obviously some since I keep thinking about it.

eh... life goes on. and I got my parcels mailed :) that is really a wonderful thing. because it means I was being productive.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010


I have secret powers. It's true. I do. I know no one would ever believe me in the whole wide world, but I do. I've thought long and hard about wether or not I should share my powers with you and I decided I might. Well, I decided that I would, I mean, That is after all what this post is about. So, I suppose now it's just inevitable. My secret is out.

Ok. So, are you ready for this? I mean, it's pretty wild and crazy. It's a pretty amazing super power actually. Brace yourselves: I find money. Not like to take from someone's wallet or anything like that. I mean, when I'm walking around and about, I see money on the ground. I have special radar. Some of the times it has Obviously been walked over countless times, or driven over, or rained on (and maybe some other slightly disgustingness done to it). But I don't care. It's money. A lot of the time I will see a penny just laying on the ground. It has been deserted, left alone, abandoned. I hate to see such pure abandonment, so naturally, I pick it up. Yup. I find nickels and dimes and quarters too. So true. I do. Pretty much every time I go out somewhere (to the store, on a walk) I will come back a richer lady because I found a quarter or a penny. This is how I make my living. I don't think I've told you this yet, but it's true. Finding money on the street and in shops is the way I bring home the bacon. Surprised? You really shouldn't be. I mean, if you think about it I'm sure you might see a penny on the ground occasionally. Do you stop to pick it up? I'm gonna say that most people don't, which is why I find so many of them. Which is how I am able to make my living off of finding monies on the ground.

The hubs always teases me about picking up my monies. I don't care. I tell him, "I'm richer than you are right now," which is kind of true ... I mean, I did just pick up a coin or two and he didn't. It's crazy. This summer when I was walking and biking all over town I became a billionaire. I really don't like to brag about my income, I really don't even like to share the way I make my living because I don't want to go out and not find any more monies. That's why I've debated so long in my head about this. The hubs reassured me I would still find my income. Anyhow. I was telling you about this summer. I think I found at least $5 a day on average. True. I told you have special super powers. One day the hubs and I were at the Farmer's Market and were at a booth tasting some plumes. yum yum yum. As I am always aware of what is on the ground around me I spotted it. the same time the hubs did. green money. The hubs reached down and picked it up. $10. bam a ram. The hubs likes to take credit for being the sole finder of the $10 just because he is the one that picked it up. I always politely and sweetly disagree with. But I figured, I'd let him have this one since I find about that much in copper on a daily basis. And also, I am pretty proud of him, for being so inexperienced at finding bacon on the street, he did a pretty great job spotting that.

By now the hubs knows that when I lag a few steps behind it isn't because I've been gazing in a shop window or been hit by a bus, it's because I spotted a money and stopped to pick it up. yup yup. It's my radar. My secret power radar. I'm so happy I have it.

Though, the hubs is also a little bit worried about me. He says I'd be an easy one to trick, all you'd have to do is leave a little trail of pennies and I'm as good as gone. eh... what can I say? It's true. It happened this summer. I was walking around and I spotted a penny. I picked it up and as I did I saw another one right close to it. Then another one and another one! What a find!!! I was so very thrilled! Then a man that saw me pick up the pennies said to me, "A penny saved is a penny earned. It must be your lucky day!" and laughed a little laugh. I just smiled brightly back at him. If I would have known at the time I picked those pennies up that he was homeless I might have given them to him, but I didn't know, so I kept them and they added to my loot that day.

Last Monday the hubs and I went out for a hott anniversary date. After dinner we walked around the mall (cause that's where we went for dinner) and you know, were just strolling along. As we were walking past Bath & Body Works (I remember o so well) I made the spotting of the week! Green. I stopped, bent down, and came back up with a green dollar between my fingers! O wow! What a night! What a find! How terribly exciting! o yes, o yes, o yes!!! The hubs looked back at me (he had kept walking and stopped when he noticed I was no longer next to him) with a smile on his face. "What'd ya find this time?"

"A dollar!!" I beam, holding the dollar up in front of his face so he can get a really good look like he'd never seen one in his life before.

"Good one! I didn't even see that." And here's the truth, I wouldn't have minded if he had seen it, but secretly I'm glad he didn't. And the other part of the truth is, while I'm amazed and utterly shocked that hundreds of people walked right past and over and on that little green bill, they didn't see it and if they did see it, they didn't stop to get it. Why would you not stop for green money? Why would you not stop for shinny money? I mean really? It's too easy! All you have to do is stoop down a little and pick it up, and you are instantly richer! I should write a book on how to get rich quick. I know how. ... except, if everyone did that there would be none for the other people, namely me. And truthfully, I really don't want to share my monies with you. Sorry. But, this is my income we're talking about here. So, if you do see any monies laying on the ground and you live in my town, do NOT stop to pick it up. Otherwise I quite strongly encourage you do to so. Unless of course I am visiting you and we are taking a walk together. Then don't pick it up. That could be very bad. Very, very bad. But if I'm not there, you will be instantly richer! And who couldn't use a little extra moolah these days, huh?

You know what really kills me? Those fountains. The ones by the shops. The ones where people purposefully throw their money into. I would LOVE to clean one of those fountain pools dry. of coins, not water. I wouldn't even mind if the water were in the fountain pool, just so long as I could get the pennies. O, that would be a dream come true! Think of all the shinny pennies in there! wow. ...maybe one day, you never do know.

and now I just sound a little obsessed. I'm not. really. I promise. I just get excited thinking about all of the times I found pennies and about the possibilities that lie ahead.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

killed over dead.

Today I drove myself to my doom. It's true. I did. It's probably one of the dumbest things I've done in a while. The whole way there I kept thinking, "I am headed to my doom. Turn around and go back home. Now." But I didn't. I kept on driving. To my doom. Why would I do that? What would possess me to willingly take myself to the pits of despair? I really wish I knew. But I don't. The whole way there I kept trying to figure out what had taken possession of me and what was making me to do such the unthinkable. The unfathomable. The most dreadful thing in the world. ever.

I ran. For real. I did. I do not run. I don't. I never have. Well, that's not entirely true. I ran once. Or well, a few times but it only lasted a few months. You see, it was for a class I was taking in college. My Heart Heathy class. My homework was to run. The class activity was to run. Run, run, run. You can catch me, I am the s-l-o-w-e-s-t runner on the face of this earth. seriously. It's true. However in my class, way back when, I made the most improvement on my mile. I knocked lots and lots of minutes off of my mile, the first one I ran took me three hours to run. When I say run I really probably really mean walk... maybe a speed walk. But by the end of class I could run a mile faster than you could blink your eye. well... that might be a little bit of an exaggeration, but I really did make a huge improvement. That is true.

But until today I had not run in ten years... or something ... So I really don't know what possessed me. It's a mystery. I can think of a few reasons but I'm not really sure if it's any one of those. It may be a combination of all of them...

1. I told the hubs the other night that I wanted to run in a mini marathon (or some such something). He laughed and said, "you know, you have to run to run in a marathon." I do not understand why he was so negative about my idea. I mean, it's not like I'm not capable of running. I just chose not to. That's all. He was thankful for the laugh though. Any time.

c. Which makes me think of something else... the hubs laughing that is. Apparently I've been pretty funny lately. You see I also told the hubs I got a sub job. The teacher called me up and asked me to sub for him. Of course I took the job. Who cares who or what I will be teaching. Now, I don't know if you remember this or not, but I'm pretty sure you know just how well math and I get along. We don't. I barely made it though Geometry, let alone Algebra. O, the nightmares I still have from those classes. It was really truly dreadful. Really really. The hubs knows how I love math (not at all) and how great I am at it (again, not in the slightest). So, when I told him I would be subbing Calculus he pretty much died. "YOU?! Teach Calculus! You're kidding, right?" Nope. Not in the least. Apparently I am quite the math teacher these days. The hubs is still recovering from this bit of shocking news. I'm quite prepared. I know what I will tell those kids (really huge kids), I will say to them, "If you have Any questions at all, DON'T ask me. I will NOT be able to help you. You know far more about this than I ever have or I ever will. So, just do your work and do your best. I can't help you. Also, if I see your iphone I'm gonna take it!" ha. I bet they like that. not. or maybe. who knows. I won't until after I teach the Calculus. How wonderfully exciting.

So. Yes. Running. That's what I did. Today. For 33 whole long minutes. I realized I had muscles I didn't even know existed. For true. Like, apparently there are muscles in my calves. Who knew?! Not me. That's for sure. Till now, and I kind of wish I didn't. eh, oh well. I am starting now so I will be able to run in a mini marathon or some other short race... one day... maybe. But, probably not. But, maybe. I mean, really, you never know. It could happen.

4. The hubs is getting new shoes. His are all worn out and down and he needs to get new ones. I like getting new shoes, so maybe if I run mine out, I will be able to get some new shoes like the hubs. That would be nice. Yes, I think that may be a secret reason I may start running.

5. O. Also, if I run, a lot. I could get some new clothes too. I got to get a treat at the store the other day (just for being a great wifey!) and I got a pair of super cute work out pants. I figured, if I got some cute ones, I would be more likely to work out. It's definitely more fun to exercise if you have cute clothes to do it in. And the only way I can get another pair of cute work out pants is if I keep working out, a lot. So, that just might be another factor. I just want another pair of cute work out pants. Yes. That is why I'm running. How incredibly shallow of me. Seriously. very shallow. eh, that's ok, I might get healthy along my shallow way...

h. My big sister has started running and she makes it sound so exciting! Since there is narry an exciting thing going on in my life I thought maybe running would spice it up a little (that or kill me over dead. Which pretty much happened today. It's true. I finished running and then I about fell over. I do know that I stopped breathing for a while, so that can't be good, but I'm fine now. Really. But man... it's pretty miserable not being able to breathe!).

Yes. my reasons for running. Wonderful. Great reasons. Maybe. ...I wonder if those reasons will actually keep me running... ask me in a week. Or two, or in a month. You could ask me in a month how I'm doing. yes. yes. do that. ask me. Or not. it's just whatever. you know. ok.

Monday, October 4, 2010

The Cake

Today the hubs and I have been married for two whole years. Crazy. I feel like that is a Lifetime. I mean, really that's a pretty long time. Two years. That's more than I've really stuck with anything. ever. in my whole long life. shame really. But true. So anyway. We got hitched two years ago today. For some reason thinking about that day makes me happy. Here are 10 reasons why:

1. I was getting hitched!

2. My whole big entire family was together. All of my brothers and sisters were there. We were all together. The last time we had been together was Christmas in 1997 (I think). That was a really long time ago. So for us to all be in the same spot at the same time was really something very wonderful. So happy. Probably one of my favorites parts about having a wedding was seeing all of my brothers and sisters. Also, my grandparents came and a bunch of aunts and uncles. More of my family was together that day then they had been in a very long time. It was just so wonderful. really. it was.

d. I got to wear a really pretty and beautiful white dress. O, it was sooo pretty! I felt like a bride in it.

f. Lots of other friends and family and even people I didn't know were there.

4. The day was simply beautiful!

5. I was able to say I had two more sisters and even more family!

j. It was the day I got to start spending the rest of my life with my very bestest friend.

10. and that's starting to get a little mushy, so I'll just stop there.

But, it really was a happy day full of fond memories and such. I think one of the best memories, would be the cake, or lack there of. You see, we ordered a cake. A very yummy cake. O, it was an amazingly delicious cake. There was going to be carrot, pineapple, and strawberry. Lots of cake. Pretty cake. Yummy cake. It was one of those things that we decided needed to be at the wedding, regardless of the price (wedding cakes are expensive!). So we got one. We ordered the cake. When we ordered the cake I told the man the address and the time that the cake needed to be there. He said, "Fine. No problem!" Three days before the wedding I called to confirm my order, the time, and the place. Again, he said, "Fine. No problem! We will be there."

Well, come Saturday at 1:47 pm (13 minutes before the ceremony starts), I see the Fan-say (obviously he's not my hubs at the time so I can't call him the hubs, he was still my Fan-say, you know, the guy I was engaged to be married to. In 13 minutes!) and he looks very distracted and very secretive. Like he is hiding something. Let me just tell you, 13 minutes before you are going to walk down the aisle is NOT the time to hide something from your soon to be life long pal. ya know? So I says to Fan-say, "What's wrong, Fan-say? You look suspicious."
"Huh? me? Wrong? Nothing. No. Nothing's wrong," he stutters as he is running out of the room to escape what he thinks will be my wrath. Obviously Something is Very wrong. Not good.

"What's wrong?" I ask again chasing him into the next room.

"Nothing," he looks at me. I stare back at him till his eyeballs are dry.

"Tell me. I don't care. I just want to know!" I demand. It is after all MY day and if I want someone to say something or do something, they must. Right? Right. Yes. my day. Everyone will do as I say!!! hahaha. not really. but you know. I wanted him to tell me. So he did... not...

"Well, I just don't want to upset you and it's almost time to start and .... " he doesn't tell me.

"What already?! Just tell me! It's ok. I promise I won't get mad."

"Promise?" Fan-say looks a little scared.

"Yes, I promise, tell me already!" this is taking entirely far too long. I just want him to spit it out already. ... I notice all of the groomsmen sheepishly backing out of the room at this point. They also look a little scared. huh. Could it really be that bad?

"Well, ok," he inhales. "The cake's not here," he quickly spits out while he takes a step back. Why I wonder does he take a step back? huh? I mean, does he think I'm going to hit him? Does he think I'm going to go crazy cause the cake isn't here even though it was supposed to be here two hours ago?! probably.

"Oh. Ok," I chirp.

"That's it?" he looks at me incredulously.

"What do you mean that's it? Yes. That's it," and say. "I mean, what can we do about it now? Nothing. Don't worry about it." I think he's a little shocked and surprised that I just said that and that I am entirely calm about it because Fan-say starts to say...

"Well, it's really all under control. Really. The ladies downstairs have your phone" [really? when did he give my phone away?] "and his number and they are calling him and it will be here before the reception starts. That's what he said when we talked to him."

"Ok." And that was that. We skipped away and down the aisle and got ourselves hitched. Except that wasn't really it. About the cake at least. Nope. No. None. Not. No. You see, the cake was still Not there when we walked downstairs for the reception. No cake. Not even a little cupcake. Not even any icing. And the cake wasn't there as lots of people were leaving. And the cake wasn't there to cut and eat. There was no cake.

Then he came. Cake Pants arrived. 5 hours late. He opens the door and comes in with a very pretty cake. Of course everyone in the room starts cheering. The cake is finally here and we can eat it now. Sheesh. The cake was yummy. very much so. it's a shame it got there so terribly late.

I found out later that when Cake Pants went into the kitchen the ladies that were helping in there gave him a licking. They chewed him inside out, telling him he should be ashamed of himself for ruining my day. I like them. He did not care. I bet he did care when we didn't pay him a dime, not even a penny for the cake. Of course we weren't about to pay for a cake that we didn't really even get to enjoy. We were going to hold up our end of the deal and pay him, he failed to do his part. Severely failed. So much so that we even got our deposit back. So really, I was just fine with Cake Pants pretending to get lost and arriving 7 hours late with our cake. Free for us. Bad for him. O well. His loss. Our gain.

But yes. I like to think about that day. It was nice and fun and happy. I think that's all I have to say about that.

Friday, October 1, 2010

the other thing!

So, here it is. What you have been dying to find out. What you have spent the last few days wondering about. What you wanted to know. ...I remembered. And I was so happy when I did. As I normally am when I remember something that was so terribly exciting.

I fixed it. The vacuum. I did. It's true. I called about one thousand vacuum cleaner repair shops in town and asked them if they had the part I needed. Most of them said, no. Some of them said, "well, I might, but you would need to bring the vacuum in so I could make sure." Some said they could order the part for me. They all gave me super high prices too. Like a hundred dollars high. It was a little ridiculous. I could buy a whole new vacuum for that. I also didn't want to wait for the part to be ordered and shipped in. I needed to vacuum our house before Saturday.

You see, my mums is deathly allergic to animals. Dogs especially. So I wanted to clean things up super spick and span in hopes that she wouldn't stop breathing while she was visiting us. In order to do that I needed a vacuum. That worked. That did not blow up in flames when I plugged it in or pushed the on button. No. I needed a properly running vacuum. The hubs and I even talked about purchasing a whole new vacuum if we couldn't find the right part. I kind of like my vacuum so I really didn't want to get a new one. Not to mention a new one costs Hundreds of dollars and we are cheap. But, if that's what we needed to do, that's what we needed to do. O my.

Thankfully I called one shop that happened to be right down the road from where I live. It's true. I asked if they had vacuum parts and if I could get the part for my vacuum. The man told me I would need to bring in my broken brush and he would check and see. So I did. And he did. It was really quite wonderful. Because all the way to the shop I was praying that they would have the part I needed. I really needed the part. I really didn't want to buy a new vacuum and I couldn't wait a week for a new part to come in. He was my only hope. He did not fail me. Thank goodness. He took my brush and went to look for a matching one. I was so relieved when he came out of the back room smiling with a second brush in hand. He said he was pretty sure it would do the trick. He also took the time to explain to me that the new vacuums have constantly changing parts these days, but it should work. He was positive. I also got a new belt from him. I about kissed him smack on the check when he told me how much it would all cost. It's true. I nearly did. I didn't. But I almost did.

It's kind of like the time the hubs and I were eating lunch at this little fish and chip restaurant that was appropriately named: The Dumpling Shop. I mean, such an Obvious name. Seriously. Ingenious. I would definitely walk past The Dumpling Shop and think, "you know, fish and chips sound really good right now." I mean, wouldn't you? Anyway, the lady in the shop was this little old Chinese woman who was probably also the chipperest lady I've ever seen. She was also a little flirt! Good gracious! After she brought us our food the hubs asked for some ketchup or some such something and she said, "Ok! Only if you give me kiss!" and she moved her check closer to the hubs' lips. yikes!!! Not really. for me anyway. I was actually dying in laughter because I had NEVER seen the hubs blush. Let me tell you, he was beet red. Or tomato red. Or lobster red. Or apple red. Or you know, red. He was red all over. Hilarious really. Ms. Flirty laughed and said, "Jus a joke!" and waddled off to get the ketchup. After she walked away, I said, "Wow. She really made you blush! I've NEVER seen You blush before!" and I proceeded to double over with laughter. It was really pretty wonderful. Ms. Flirty came back with the ketchup and said proudly to me, "See?! You see how I make him brush?! [that's how she said blush] He turn so red!" and then she nudged the hubs with her elbow and chuckled some more. When Ms. Flirty hobbled off once again the hubs finally said, "I didn't know what to do! I would've kissed her... I guess. I thought she was serious. I think she would have let me. ...I, I, I didn't know." I have also never seen the hubs speechless. But he was, for about four whole minutes. He would have kissed her for some ketchup. That's how much he loves his ketchup. traitor.

So anyways, like I was saying, I was so happy I nearly kissed the man with the vacuum piece. I didn't. But I did do a little happy dance. In my head. That's how excited I was. You see, the total cost for both the brush and the belt was twenty whole dollars less than what just the brush would have cost me at some of the other shops! Holy Moly! Amazing! He did not rip me off. I like people like that.

See? I told you it was good news : )