Friday, May 18, 2012

shine a little light

Today was closing day at school. In a way it reminded me a lot of what it was like at college after finals. Everyone in their rooms packing up their precious belongings. Moving furniture around. Stopping by different rooms to chat for a minute and see what everyone is up to. Wrapping up the school year. It made me miss the good ole' college life. I think it's rather unfortunate it has been so long since I was moving in and out of William's Hall freshman year. And the other three dorms I lived in. Those were some good days. And bad ones too. But a lot of good.

Back to today ... after most of my room was all packed up and I only had grades left to do I found myself sitting in my teacher chair. I remembered sitting in that same chair about nine months ago for the first time. My stomach in knots. An overwhelmed mind. A racing heart. Sweating palms. Thinking about how I was a teacher. A real teacher. Wondering what I was going to teach. Praying for the students that would sit in those seats facing me as I looked at all of the empty seats wondering about all of the different little lives I would meet. Praising God for the opportunity for me to be there and praying for strength to get me through.

Today I sighed a sigh of relief. Maybe the biggest one yet. Prayed yet another prayer of of thanksgiving for the day, for the strength God provided me with through this year. For knowing I survived my first year of teaching. For knowing that I would be back in the room in a few short months and that I would be doing it all over again with new kids. New lives. New adventures. For hope that it will be better.

It is a crazy blessing. Sometimes more one than the other. I just hope that even though there were a lot of kids this year and a lot of them didn't really care for me (at all) that I was able to shine a little bit of Light into at least one little life. That they didn't all think I was a complete joke or witch with a "b" as they graffitied in numerous textbooks (and that I erased today). If I shared a little joy, love, or Light with at least one student, that would make me happy, make it all worth it. Though I suppose there is no real way of knowing.... Anyhow. I've just been thinking about that a lot today.  

That and how excited I am for summer vacation!! :)

Happy Friday y'all!

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