Wednesday, December 22, 2010

The Not Treasure Hunt

The hubs and I made an agreement. Yes. Yes. We did. The agreement was that I would take him to work in the morning, go back to the apartment and pack up all of our precious belongings, go eat some lunch by my lonesome while he had a lunch party with his co-workers, meet up with him after finishing and head on our merry way home. That was the agreement. That was the plan.

But, as most plans, this one failed miserably. Miserably. I took the hubs to work just fine, mainly because he was the one driving and he knew the way. I paid really close attention and took mental notes in my head of where to turn and where to go straight to get back home. Mental notes. That's a joke. They Never work for me. No. They do not. Because as soon as I make the mental note to "turn left on Kingstowne Street" I have to make another mental note to "turn right on Mayfield Drive" followed by several other streets to make turns on (or not make turns on). As you can see that's a lot of mental note taking in such a short time. But it doesn't stop there, because shortly after making all of these mental notes I am put to the test and have to follow them ... in Reverse! ah! Are you crazy?! No, the hubs is not crazy, but perhaps I am. But we already knew that...

So the hubs is dropped of at his work place (fancy shmancy if you ask me) and I hop over to drive back home. Not only am I driving back home, I am driving for the first time in weeks, I am driving for the first time in a crazy and very complicated city (really though, it is very confusing). It was for this reason (the confusing roads, the new city) that I decided I would NEVER drive there. Eat your words, Cupcake, you are going to drive home and then Back to meet the hubs after a soothing lunch. Right? Wrong.

My first success was pulling out of the parking lot and turning back on the road to get out of the army complex place. My second success was turning in the correct direction and driving down the familiar road for a few minutes. ...but after that it all went down hill. I was trying my best to follow the hubs directions with the mental notes I had taken, and kind of sort of not use the GPS until I passed the one road the hubs told me about. Well, it didn't work and I was headed right for the interstate (not where I wanted to go. you see the interstate up around those parts is stand still that time of day and I would have been sitting there idle in traffic for hours). I did not want to do that. So I drove on and "explored" part of the city I had never seen before. Then, after about an hour I was able to turn around, and pass the road I knew I needed to turn on. Good grief! So I made a u-turn (when the light was green and no one was coming) and a car pulls out of some drive and nearly kills me! Ah! ... see why I didn't want to drive?

Five hours later I made it home, took the pup out to play for a little bit, and then I packed like a mad lady. Well, most of the packing was done, I planned it that way. So I totted all of our bags to the front door and one by one dragged them to the car and shoved them in. After three more hours and an escape-y puppy, the car was packed and we (the pup and me) were ready to go eat some lunch and meet the hubs.

Or not. Because what happened next was I had to return the cable box and cords and all the crap that goes along with it to the store so we wouldn't have to pay a whopping $5000 fine for not returning it. No big deal, right? Wrong. I get to the store (the one the hubs pointed out on the way to his work that morning) and they claim they have never seen that cable or internet box before and my address is non existent. Won-der-ful. Or is it? It isn't, I'll tell you that much right now. But I smile and laugh and say, "O! that's ok! I must have misheard my hubs, I'm sure you're right and it belongs to the other major cable company in the area." Smile, Smile, Smile. I shove the cords and boxes into my flimsy little plastic bag and walk out the door.

Crap. Where the heck am I supposed to take the flipping cable crap? I don't live here. I don't know where anything is. double crap. Then I have an epiphany, I thought I remembered seeing another cable store on the way here. After testing my brain on how to get back there I speed off (well, not really speed) and find the sign "Comcast". ahhh! (that's a good ahhh!). After parking and stepping outside I looked around for the store. All of the other ones in the shopping center are labeled, clearly, the one I am looking for is not there. So I ask another shop keeper where it is, and she kindly pointed it out to me. Naturally it's on the far end from where I am currently standing. So I walk. In the cold. Without a coat. The closer I get the more fearful I become. Because this is what I see: white paper covering the windows and a sign that says, "For Lease." Are you kidding me?! As I inch closer still I see a tiny bit of paper on the door that says they have moved to Pickett Street. Where the heck is Pickett Street?! How am I supposed to know where Pickett Street is?!

Thankfully I'm not alone in this endeavor as there are two other people standing at the door reading the little bit of paper of a sign that says they are closed and to go to Pickett Street. I hear the nice lady telling the man where he needs to go, that she knows exactly where they are at. Right next to the Home Depot. I eagerly approach her and beg her to tell me how to get to Home Depot. I'm not from here and I don't even know where I live, so could she please o please tell me exactly how to get to Home Depot. Thankfully she does. She says there is only one turn. I repeat the directions she gave a hundred times to her and then I head for the car and set out. Again.

All the while I'm on my way I'm praying that the nice lady was right, that there really is a Pickett Street, that there really is a Home Depot., and that there really is the cable company. After turning on the street I kept driving, for hours there was no sign of a Home Depot. And those are hard to miss, there all big and orange and stuff. Well, there wasn't one. I started praying more and faster... then I saw it. A bright orange door. It could be Home Depot. But was it? Yes! O, thank the Lord! I have never in all my life been so excited to see Home Depot. Never. Then my prayers went to praise. Then quickly to prayers that there really was a cable store there and that it would be the one I needed. I pulled into the parking lot and ... Thank Jesus!!! I've never been so excited to see a cable store. Likewise, when the lady actually pulled up our correct address and said they didn't charge for the remote (because go figure it was the one thing I'd forgotten to pack up). O, thank you Jesus.

So after a year of packing up and driving around on an Easter Egg Hunt (for a cable store) I managed to only get half way lost on the way to meet up with the hubs. Except, at this point, he was the one waiting for me. I was sad I wasn't going to get to eat by my lonesome, but I found a little place that has soup in a bread bowl, I picked it and ate it on our way home (but that's another story altogether). O the soup. yummy yummy soup.

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