bilirubin levels

Goodness gracious. I feel like all we do these days is go to the doctor. Well, maybe not all we do, but we certainly making frequent trips these days. This morning Emerson and I went back to the doctor for his follow up appointment. He gained four whole ounces since Monday and weighed in at 7.11 this morning. Thankfully his bilirubin levels went down from 13 to 11, unfortunately they didn't go down low enough for the doctor's liking and we have to go back next week for another follow up appointment. Please pray that his levels are low low low, like a 2 or non-existent would be even better. I'm glad his levels went down; but it still was not the news I wanted to hear, as I was hoping he would be completely better. The doctor did say I could just supplement with formula here and there, well, she really said every other feeding try and do formula, but that's just not happening. I think she realized that as she was talking to me and said that at least 2 to 3 feedings during the day would help and I could nurse all night. She was really sweet about everything and told me not to stress out about the formula thing and that I could go back to nursing. I am praying that when we go back next week that we can say good-bye to the formula and nurse exclusively for the rest of the year. It has been so stressful giving formula and it has been so much messier too. It is awful. I'm just thankful we don't have to feed him exclusively formula any more.

Anyhow. I'm going to go hold my sweet baby boy now.

Monday

*note: I wrote most of this yesterday but didn't get to finish or post it, a little Gooseberry needed me :)*

Things have been kind of rough around these parts since last night. Really last night was no different than most. Emerson slept for a few hours and then he woke up, slept, woke up... you get the idea. It's a nice little pattern he has going. If only there was a schedule to it... it's safe to say he was awake more than I thought necessary :)

This morning he had his one month check up. He has grown and weighs a whole 7.7 lbs now. What a big boy. He also got a shot, poor little guy. He doesn't like being pricked. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately?) the doctor made a discovery while we were there. Emerson looked jaundiced. So they pricked his little foot and took some blood. They found out he was a 13. Higher than it should be, higher than the doctor liked, and higher than I wanted to hear. Apparently it is breast milk jaundice. I don't really know if I buy it. But, he is a doctor so of course I'm going to listen to what he has to say. I just really hate what he had to say. The doctor said I would have to stop nursing for 48 hours and give Emerson formula instead. Then we would go back to the doctor on Wednesday to have his levels checked again.

I HATE that we have to do this. Even though there are challenges with nursing I would much rather face those than give my baby formula. Not that there is anything wrong with giving your baby formula, I know a lot of moms do and the babies are healthy and happy. It's just not what I want for my baby, not even for 48 hours. It is killing me. It is also a mess. When Emerson takes the bottle only about half of it seems to get in his belly, the other half ends up on a burp cloth while he's eating, or is spit up after he finishes eating. He really doesn't spit up much at all. I cannot wait until we go back to the doctor. I just pray his levels go down, a lot, and that we can stop this nonsense. Although, even if the doctor says to keep him on formula for another day or so, I would fight it and just not listen. It's horrible. I just hate being in this situation. So if you think of it, could you say a little prayer for Emerson and me for that matter? I'm not handling this so well.

Thoughts for Friday

A few things for this Friday...

 - Yesterday was Emerson's happy one month birthday. I have a picture or two, but due to a minor technical difficulty it will have to wait for another day (hopefully tomorrow!).  It is hard to believe our little Gooseberry has been in our lives for a whole month now. My, oh, my, what a month it has been; full of smiles, cuddles, love, learning, tears (not just from Emerson), pain, very little sleep, accepting help from lots of friends and family, naps, lazy days, sleepless nights, and completely different from anything I have ever known... But wonderful in every single way.

- Today Emerson and I went out on an adventure all on our own; we went to the mall! I know, we are crazy adventurous. It might not sound like that big of a deal, but it is. I drove to the mall by myself and walked around with Emerson for a whole hour and a half! I really needed to purchase a new item of clothing (nursing bra) and needed some help figuring out what size I am. I'm just thankful for the  nice and helpful sales lady.

- I am exhausted! I don't know if I'm extra sleepy and tired from going out today, but I can tell you one thing for certain, I am ready to crawl under my covers and sleep for hours and hours. Emerson, please oh please be a peach and sleep well tonight so your mama can too :) really it's to you benefit. The more you let me sleep, the better I can take care of you. See? So that's why you need to sleep a lot tonight, mmmmk?

- happy Friday night!

Fall Break (and yes, I realize it is February)

I realized the other day that I never shared pictures from my Fall Break way back in October. I'm not really sure why this post never happened, but it was a special time for me and the Hubs so I wanted to be sure to share -even if it is only for my sake. 

Recently the Hubs has had to go on lots of trips for work. The last trip he took was two and a half weeks or so before Emerson was born (thank goodness Emerson wasn't that early!). One of the work trips he had to go on happened to be the same week as my Fall Break. So, lucky me got to go with him to Colorado for a week. While he was in training classes all day I got to read, take lots of naps, crochet, walk around the little town, and do pretty much anything I wanted. We got there a day day before his training started and stayed a day later so we were able to go sight see a little bit. It was such a wonderful time together, our last big adventure before Gooseberry came into our lives. 

These are some things we did/places we went... 

The Garden of the Gods (it was so pretty!) 

I don't know where we were when I took this, but I thought it was such a pretty sight!

We went to one of the Olympic Training Centers. It was really neat walking around seeing where some of the worlds best athletes train.

:)  

some prettiness we got to see.

 

We stopped somewhere that happened to be next to a golf course because I had to go to the bathroom for the 20th time that hour. When we were walking back to the car we saw a bunch of Elk lounging around on the course. It was pretty cool!! 

Look at this guy! 

Oh, how I love the mountains!  

 

The Celestial Tea Factory was near where we were staying so we made a point to go visit. It was a really neat tour of the factory and we got to try lots of tea :) This was more exciting for me I think than the hubs as I love me some tea and he doesn't. 

 

We went on a little date and played mini golf. It was the first time I had ever beat him. I like to think it was because I had Gooseberry helping me out :) 

This here restarunt was on Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives! We had dinner here one night and it really was delicious food! I got waffles but didn't think to take a picture of them before I gobbled them up... I was pregnant and starving and had no time to mess around. 

This little spot was just down the road from where we stayed. I love the twinkle lights! 

I discovered there was a candy factory nearby too, so of course we paid a little visit. Hammonds makes all of their candies by hand, it is fascinating to watch them do it! They sell their candies at Cracker Barrel and some other places I don't remember. 

We went up to visit Wyoming because we were so close. 

... our little family :) 

:) 

We saw a lot of buffalo and cattle while we were driving to Wyoming and back to Colorado. We even saw real live Cowboys! I wasn't able to get any good pictures of them though with my little camera... shame. 

plains, trains, and mountains. 

So yeah. I know this adventure happened four months ago, but I just had to share it before I forgot to do it altogether. Better late than never, right? Now we have a little baby and our adventures will be with three of us instead of two.

Emerson's Nursery

I'm not one with a keen eye for fancy decorating or anything like that, so as much as I think it would have been fun to imagine a whole room full of unique things, my brain just doesn't work that way. Thankfully bedding sets and matching decorations are sold for people like me. When we found out we were having a boy I knew right way the theme that I wanted for his room and I scoured the internet looking for the perfect bedding and decorations. I was so happy I was able to find exactly what I was wanted. It is perfect, I love every bit of his room and decorations, even if it's not a Hannah original. It's better than anything I could have cooked up on my own.

During the whole pregnancy, especially once I found out we were having a boy, I wanted to get his nursery done. Thankfully we already had blue walls so we didn't need to paint. But I knew there was a lot more to getting a nursery ready than just painting the walls. The Hubs and I decided we would wait until after our baby showers and then, depending on what we got or didn't get, we would order/buy anything we needed to for his nursery. It killed me to wait seven months before we started putting his room together. Yes, we had cleaned it out and moved everything that was previously in the room downstairs but that was about it. I just wanted his room done. 

After our second shower on Saturday January 12, we had pretty much everything we needed for him and his room. There were a few things still missing. So on Sunday after church we went to Target and Babies R Us and made some exchanges and bought the last few things we needed, including the big thing on the list: his crib. Thankfully Babies R Us had the one we wanted in stock and we took it home that day. Hubs spent Sunday afternoon putting the crib together and I washed some of Emerson's new things. 

Late Monday morning, the 14th of January, I had a doctor's appointment. Thankfully I was able to spend the rest of the day finishing working on the nursery. It put my mind at ease knowing it was pretty much all done. It was all I had thought about at school that morning. We had a bed, a fluffy marshmallow rocker, a dresser/changing table, a hamper, a bookshelf, and a little side table. I loved spending Monday giving all of Emerson's things a new home and cleaning his room. 

When Hubs got home that night he was so excited to see Emerson's room all finished. Though there was one minor concern. On one of the walls there were some spots the precious owners had puttied  over. Little white spots that did not look so nice. This really bothered us so we talked about how we could fix it. We talked about painting the wall so it would be an accent wall, but we both knew how we were with picking paint colors and decorating things, horrible. Also, I didn't want to wait for a wall of paint to dry. I wanted Emerson's room to be finished as soon as possible. It needed to be ready for him! Being the genius that I am I remembered I had registered for some adorable wall decals that matched Emerson's bedding. This seemed like the best solution. We would get decorations and have a way to cover up the little spots on the wall. I ordered the decals that night and we both anxiously waited for them to come in the mail. 

Thursday the 17th I came home from school to find the decals on my doorstep. We decided to wait until we had some time on Saturday to put them up. Saturday morning, January 19th, we spent an hour or so cutting out the decals and taping them to the wall to make sure they were in the perfect spot. Once it looked perfect we stuck the stickers to the walls and finished his room. His room was complete. We showed the finished room to Hubs' parents that afternoon and then to some friends on Sunday evening, January 20th, when they were at our house for Small Group.

After our friends went home and I was ready for bed I went into Emerson's nursery, sat in the fluffy marshmallow, hugged my belly, and said, "Ok, Emerson. We are ready for you. You come whenever you want. We can't wait to see you and love you and kiss you and hug you!!"

Six hours later my water broke. Five hours after that I was holding my sweet little Emerson. 

how about that?

Now, with no further delay, let's go on a little tour, shall we?  

This is what you see when you stand in the doorway of his room.

I am in LOVE with his rocker. It is a giant fluffy marshmallow. Seriously. 

We have already spent many nights in the marshmallow rocker. 

the closet... 

we have been blessed and have a stock pile of diapers waiting for him to fill :)

I love how his room looks! It makes me so happy to be in his nursery. 

4 weeks with Emerson

Emerson, 

Four weeks ago today you made your appearance, it is hard to believe it has been that long! In your first four weeks of life you have brought more joy to me than I knew was possible. You are the sweetest little boy ever! I love you so very much! 

I loved you the moment I saw you. 

You will always make my heart dance. 

Some things you have done during these first four weeks of your life are: 

- Sleep. You sleep pretty much all day, which is fine by me because it gives me a chance to catch up on my sleep too. 

- Smile. When I talk to you your face will smile at me, oh how I love your precious little smiles. 

- Make magic - with a pacifier. Sometimes you make your pacifier quiver in your mouth, and then you go right back to sucking away, I love watching you. Sometimes though you are sucking away and then you spit it right out, this makes you pretty darn angry. I try and tell you not to spit it out and then we would all be happy... but I suppose that's something we'll just keep working on :) 

- Use your hands. You use your hands a lot. Sometimes you pat or stroke me, sometimes you pray, sometimes you just chill with your hands up by your head. A few times when you are really hungry and angry because your belly's not being filled you will scratch or hit me with your little hands.... which I think is adorable because your hands are so tiny and you are using them to tell me what you need. 

- Sneeze. Your sneezes are the absolute cutest!! Oh, my goodness gracious! You are too stinkin' cute! 

- Watch things. You have started being more alert this past week and you keep your eyes wide open and we spend hours (or as long as you can keep those little eyes open) gazing into each others eyes. 

- Be a night owl. You have enjoyed being up at night a lot more than I do! I am really trying to stay awake with you, it's just so hard sometimes. We are working on you sleeping more at night and being more awake during the day. And when I say we're working on that I really mean, we pray that you sleep for longer amounts of time during the night so I can get a little sleep. 

- Socialize. You have had so many people come and visit you! You are one popular little guy! Aunties and grandparents and friends have come from all over just to see you. You really are one loved, Emerson. 

It is amazing to watch you grow and change each and every day. I try to cherish each and every one of your days as a wee one because I know they are fleeting. 

I love your face. 

kehehe. I couldn't resist! 

You were dedicated when you were 3 weeks and 6 days old! 

It is our prayer that you grow up knowing, loving, and serving our mighty God. 

I love you so much, Emerson!!!

Maternity Pictures

Remember a while back I said we were going to have some maternity pictures taken? Well, we got some taken over Christmas Break, but I didn't have time to share them because Emerson decided to come one week after getting the pictures back and we were busy doing other things getting ready for his arrival. But I wanted to share a few, even if he is already here. The pictures might be mostly for my sake, but it's part of the pregnancy I didn't get to document on here. I was 32 weeks pregnant when these were taken, just four weeks before Emerson was born! 

I love this man. 

oh, my belly!  

I truly loved this time in our lives. 

 

I kind of miss being pregnant. It was such a special time and I loved knowing Emerson was safe, warm, and well taken care of. 

 

We never thought we would be welcoming our little Gooseberry a short four weeks later! 

We are so happy he is here and are loving every minute with him. 

I hope you all have a delightful weekend!