Monday, November 8, 2010

The Library

I love the library. It is such a happy place. There are rows and rows of books and books. All kinds of books. History books, picture books, recipe books, how to books, even books on tape. I mean, really there is anything you could ever possibly want. And all at your fingertips. All for the taking... for a few weeks at least. After which you have to take the books back because they aren't really yours, no matter how much you want to keep them. Even if it's a really great book and you know you would put it to good use and read it a bazillion times or use the recipes in it all the time... you can't keep it. It's just not yours. shame. And of course you're not going to buy it. Because that's not free. huh. Still the library is a wonderful place and it's full of stories and knowledge and things you want to learn about and things you could care less about. Which is why I love it so.

So naturally when I finished reading all of my books I wanted to get another book. for free. at the library. Since the hubs was home we thought we would go to the library and then go over to the puppy park right after. It was going to be a splendid afternoon. Free of work, free of school, free from washing the pile of dishes in the sink, and free of everything else I didn't want to do. Loverly. Right? Wrong. It all started after we browsed through the aisles and rows of books and picked a few that we wanted to keep (for a few weeks).

With our books in hand we went to the check out lady at the check out desk to get a library card. I figured it would be no problem, getting the library card. Like every other single library I've been to all you do is fill out a little paper with your name and such and wa-la. A library card. No biggy. Right? Wrong. Turns out the librarians name was Ms. Krank. How fitting that her demeanor matched her name. You see, when we kindly asked Ms. Krank for a library card she just looked at us like we were crazy for asking to get a library card. Her shrill little voice said, "You want a library card?"

"Yes, please. What do we need to fill out to get one?"

"Well..." she screeched and gave us death stares.

"You know, a card we need to fill out, with our names and address and such."

"I see," as she placed her palms firmly on the desk in front of her. I'm glad a desk was between us.

"Can we get one?" I mean really, Ms. Krank is Not very helpful. You would think a librarian would be enthusiastic when a person wanted a library card. I mean, if I were a librarian I would be handing those out left and right.

"Well," again in her shrill voice, "yes. You can. I will need to see a photo id with your current and local address on it."

"O. Right. Well, we are just here for a little bit but really wanted to check out some books. We have our home address. Will that work?" All the while the hubs is talking I'm praying, 'please, o please, I just want to get a library card!'

"No," she screeches as she shakes her head and glares at us over top of the glasses that are slipping down her nose. "That won't do. You have to have a photo id with your address on it for here."

Great, she's helpful on top of being so nice.

"I've got my military id with me," the hubs chirps up. Will that work? I'm just here for work, like I said, we don't have a permanent address here."

"Let me see it," Ms. Krank screams as she snatches his id from his fingers. Her beady black eyes scrutinizes his picture from behind her glasses. "No. It won't do."

What?! Are you kidding me woman?! We've given you our ids, the hubs has given you his special id, we showed you a hundred different things with our names and address on it, and she's not taking any of them! And her voice! It's like fingernails scrapping a chalkboard. eeew! Also, can I just say, that I have had a gazillion library cards over the course of my life, and never have I ever had to show proof of who I was, a photo id, or any of that other garbage! ah! Obviously I am ranting and raving at this point.

Then Ms. Krank takes the hubs' id and walks off with it. Great. Super. Hubs could lose his job if he loses that. A few minutes later she returns, with his id in hand - thankfully. She says, "She said you can get a temporary library card if you bring in a copy of your lease."

Again, are you kidding me? A temporary library card? What the heck is that and ... what? Also, a copy of our lease? We don't even have one of those! although, now come to think of it, we probably should.

Even though her voice was murder and she had long shrively fingers and beady black eyes I still begged her to give us a library card. Dumb move. She just glared at me even more with her little beady black eyes. I mean, really, all I did was ask for a library card. I didn't realize it was such a big ordeal. seriously. Which of course by this point I have shut my mouth, squinted my eyes, and crossed my arms. I am fuming. All I wanted was a little tiny library card. Seriously.

Thankfully the hubs is more level headed than I am and not nearly as taken back with Ms. Krank and suavely asks her, "Can you just put our books on hold and we can come and get them tomorrow?"

"Well," again, with the shrieking, "I suppose we can do that." She turns, as s-l-o-w-l-y as is earthy possible and reaches for a rubber band. An hour later she has turned back around and stretched it around our stack of books.

The hubs leaves his name and I march out the library. Bookless. I was not to happy. I mean really...

Thankfully we had adorable little Boady with us and we walked over to the dog park and he ran free and played with every dog there (and there were a lot). Except, when the big dogs barked or ran really fast, he came and hid between my feet. It was pretty darn cute. Not really reassuring... but stinkin' cute. It was quite entertaining to watch him trot and jump with the other dogs. All bigger than him. After a while his cuteness won me over and I started smiling again. Thank goodness for Boady and his sideways run.

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